No One Gets to Be Wrong
Part 1
by Julie Fuimano

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Have you ever been told you were wrong for feeling a certain way or for expressing an opinion that was contrary to the beliefs of others? How did it feel? It's happened to each of us at some point, and no, it never feels good to be made wrong for thinking a certain way. You feel as though you are being judged and are not accepted for who you are.
It often makes you question yourself, your beliefs, and your decisions. And if your sense of self or self-esteem is already somewhat fragile, it can send you into a negative downward spiral making you shrink and withdraw, or become resentful and angry.
This is an interesting concept because, as a leader, you want to create an environment where people feel comfortable expressing themselves. This means, you set the tone of your unit or department (and your family and community) through your actions and words.
If you want to create a work environment that is accepting of diverse thoughts and ideas, then you need to model acceptance for others to follow and use masterful communication techniques to teach others how you want people to treat one another. You also must not permit anything less than the respectful treatment of others. This means that nastiness, gossip, destructive conversations (i.e. complaining, blaming), as well as abusive comments or actions will not be tolerated.
As a leader, embrace the concept that no one is wrong for being who they are. The message you send is, "who you are is wonderful as you are and I accept you." It's about creating a safe space that allows each individual the ability to simply be themselves. You must learn to separate the person from their behavior and actions. The person is wonderful.
Sometimes, people don't do wonderful things. That does not make them wrong as a person. There's a difference. They have the right to make mistakes; they are human. You can certainly redirect the behavior and, as a leader, you need to. You need to set clear expectations about how people should treat others in your presence and in your department or else they will continue to do whatever they have always done. Unless you tell people what you expect and demonstrate through your own behaviors, they will not know their behavior is inappropriate.
This means you need to speak up whenever something occurs that does not feel good. It is often how we feel that brings our attention to something being inappropriate. When you say nothing, it sends the message that the behavior is okay and the behavior will repeat.
There are three things to consider: The first is that everyone is right in their own minds. Given the information they have right now, their background, experience and education, they have formulated certain conclusions and to this person, those conclusions make sense. They have the right to think the way they do. Hopefully, they are open to receive new information so they can learn and grow. They may not be. And that is not about you; it's about them.
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Nurturing Your Success
Do you want to be a more effective communicator? Are you seeking to manage your time more effectively and work smarter so you have less stress and more time for yourself? Want to manage your emotions confidently and experience less conflict? Or are you looking to create a productive team? Then contact us today at (610) 277-2726 to see how coaching would support you in achieving the results you want.
Julie Fuimano, MBA, BSN, RN is a Success Coach and author of "The Journey Called YOU: A Roadmap to Self-Discovery and Acceptance," the manual for unleashing the power of you. Sign up for our e-newsletter or purchase your copy of the book at Nurturing Your Success or write to Julie@nurturingyoursuccess.com. "Be Great. Be YOU."