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	How to Comfort Someone Whose Child Has Died Part 2 by Susan Dunn Momentum Coaching
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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How to Comfort Someone Whose Child Has Died
Part 2
by Susan Dunn

Page: 1 2 3

What, then, can you do?

Burying your own child has been called "a perversion of nature," and is that difficult to get your mind around. What parent has ever considered having to do this? Most of us care more about our children than life itself, and we cannot afford to entertain that thought, so there is no preparation. It's something we sincerely hope will happen to someone else, not us, if it must happen.

We expect our parents to die in our lifetime; it's difficult, but we've been expecting it.

Here are some of the things that helped me through. I can't say they comforted me, as for a time there was no way to comfort me, and I guess that's a point to be made. You don't even want to be comforted. What you want is your child back.

Understand I'm speaking from my personal experience. It's a terrible insult to imagine what someone else is feeling at this time, or what might help.

• My younger sister came to the Memorial Service and just made small talk. When she left, to go back home, she shook her head and said, "Oh Susan." She left a tape by Ian Tyson on my bedside table ... rock with me Jesus help me bear this heavy load, don't let her slip, not let her slide ... all cowboys cross the Great Divide.

• After the dinner after the Service, folks came back to my house. My niece sat beside me and stroked my hair while she talked with everyone, so I didn't have to.

• A colleague at work met me coming out of the elevator my first day back to work. He looked up, then looked down with tears in his eyes and said, "I don't know what to say," and walked away with his shoulders bent. He had a child the same age as mine. It was thoughtful of him not to stick around and have me feel the need to comfort him.

• My friend who said, "Give me a list of people to call. I'll tell them for you."

• My boss said, when I returned to work, "The only reason I'm letting you be here is that it's maybe slightly better than being home." He gave me little things to do, to occupy my mind, but nothing requiring judgment.

• My twin sister called me every 6 weeks and said she was flying out for a visit. (Didn't ask, said.) She would show up at the house and just putter ... cook, clean, garden ... She didn't disturb me.

• When she answered the phone, I heard her say, "She's seeking the mercy of sleep."

• My friend, who'd lost her 8 month old son ... when I asked her "How do I live with this?" she said, "I don't know. Your's is different. Mine was [just a baby] but yours was [21] and the longer you have them the worse it is." What a magnanimous statement.

• My friend who wrote, "From now on, for me, every tree will be missing a leaf."

• My son's friend who told me, when she heard about it, "That's really [expletive]."

• Between visits, my sister sent me homemade chocolate chip cookies, something very symbolic between the two of us. Mother ... home ... happier times. They arrived in shoe boxes, wrapped in plain brown paper. It's a time to be basic.

• The people who talked about how wonderful my son was, only at a distance ... by email, or letters.

• The friend who gave me a gift certificate for 10 massages.

• People who would, and still do, speak his name.

• Friends who remember the anniversary of his death. For most of us, it will never recede in time. It could be yesterday. It could even be today.

Page: 1 2 3

Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, Susan Dunn. Bringing the power of Emotional Intelligence to YOUR life through coaching, eBooks, and distance learning. Midlife, retirement and transition coaching, career and relationships. Email for free EQ ezine. Want to be a certified EQ Coach? Email for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Products available for licensing to build your practice. Visit the best ebook library on the Internet - EBook Library.

Are you looking for more information on Death, Profound Change, Transition, Crisis Management, Rebirth, Consolidation of Assets, and Self-Improvement?

Scorpio is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Death, Profound Change, Transition, Crisis Management, Rebirth, Consolidation of Assets, and Self-Improvement. Learn more about Scorpio.
The information here tells all about Scorpio Astrology.

Scorpio Horoscope

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Last updated September 1st, 2007

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Planets in Retrograde -- The Basics
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