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Interpreting Tarot -- Reading the Book of Life
Interpreting Tarot -- Reading the Book of Life
By
Rebecca Brents


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 Relationships  In the Spotlight for Libra Contents  Internet Dating for the Midlife Woman 

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How to Keep Her in Love with You
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It's the saddest thing to listen to a man who has lost his heart's darling. The hardest part is when they don't know why, and I hear this more often than you would imagine.

The plaintive, "But I loved her," is followed by, "I have no idea why she left."

It's bad enough to lose your love, without being stupefied on top of it all. Generally there are two explanations for this, both of which you can work on.

The first is denial, like the gentleman who told me he'd lost his wife and didn't know why but when pressed said it "might" have been because he had an affair, but "it shouldn't have mattered" because "she knew it didn't mean anything." The answer to this one is to quit fooling yourself. No one can pull the wool over your eyes except you. Rationalizing something you do that you know has about as much chance of hitting a home run as swinging at bad pitches, and then blaming the other person because you struck out is the victim stance. Get out of it and get responsible for what you do.

The second is from general cluelessness. If you often can't figure out what's going on around you, you may be in this category and it, too, has a remedy. Facts are easy to figure out. Emotional interchanges are not.

Staying in either place will insure you'll love again and lose her again. Or worse, because you're confused, you'll be afraid to love again and will choose women who are inappropriate and unavailable and then complain that it never works out. You'll stay safe, which is nice, but you'll be miserable, which isn't nice.

If you'd like to minimize that possibility, here are some tips.

DEVELOP YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

EQ is emotional fluency. It's the opposite of cluelessness. It begins with being aware of your own feelings, and extends to include understanding the feelings of others - the world of feelings.

The worse this possibility sounds to you, the more you probably need it.

Many men start thinking about what's in their heart because making it a mental thing feels better, but the end result is that you'll end up confused. Women don't like to be with a man who's confused about them. They want it straight and true.

In order to relate to the woman you love, and to keep the relationship alive, you have to know about this "confusion." If not, the relationship will die, and you can claim you don't know why, but is that what you want? Learn to know why.

Page: 1 2

Susan DunnSusan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn. Susan is the author of "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence."

I offer coaching around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, resilience (the skill for this decade), transitions, retirement, and personal and professional development. I train managers and coaches to teach EQ.

Mailto: sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZines.

For free daily tips on how to develop your EQ, send blank email to: EQ4U.

Are you looking for more information on Relationships, Cooperation, Teamwork, Diplomacy, Negotiation, and Cultural Issues?

Libra is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Relationships, Cooperation, Teamwork, Diplomacy, Negotiation, and Cultural Issues. Learn more about Libra.
The information here tells all about Libra Astrology.

Libra Horoscope

Look twice before you leap.
~ Charlotte Bronte ~
Author of Jane Eyre
Born April 21, 1816

Featured In the Spotlight Article:
Adapting to Change
People who are adaptive are able to organize their thoughts in ways that generate appropriate and positive actions. Adaptive abilities are necessary as changes occur in individuals and their circumstances.

From the In the Spotlight Archives:
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Last updated February 13th, 2008

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The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life
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