Making Decisions

What To Pay When You Can't Pay Everything
With ever increasing consumer debt more of us are finding ourselves robbing Peter to pay Paul each month. We go through our bills and find that the money just won't stretch far enough to cover all of the bills and expenses. It's hard to decide who you should pay when you have one bill that is stamped with "Final Notice" and you are behind on several of your other bills.
What To Pay When You Can't Pay Everything
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What's On Your Personal Priority List?
What are the three top priorities in your life? The absolute three most important things that you consider the essential business of your life? Ok ... what are the TEN top priorities in your life? Which question do you have the most trouble with? Coming up with ten ... or narrowing things down to only three? Both lists are important, because of course the top three -- will certainly be included on your top ten. But from time to time the top three will change. In fact, from time to time BOTH lists will change. Items get dropped. Items get added. Opportunities -- or crises -- arise ... and things in your world shift to accommodate these.
Dreams change their focus. Goals are achieved -- or abandoned, and become "former goals." Relationships strengthen ... and dissolve. Births and deaths occur. Life is a kaleidoscope -- always intricate and multi-faceted, always in motion, some moments breathtakingly lovely ... others not so much. Yet through it all a set of underlying values guides us ... and helps us make choices. Small choices ... huge decisions. Routine maintenance ... and life-altering alternatives.
What's On Your Personal Priority List?
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Are You Stuck?
Anytime you decide to do something new, you are stepping outside "the cave of the familiar" into unknown territory where you are likely to experience some form of fear. And this sense of discomfort is so strong, you'll do anything to avoid it. Typical tricks include avoidance, delay, or "over-thinking"...
"Over-thinking" is when you continue to think about making a decision, long after you've actually decided! What you're really doing is creating a safe mental environment for yourself. By constantly thinking about something, it becomes familiar, and so you start to feel comfortable around it. The problem with "over-thinking" is that it doesn't move you forward one tiny bit, and only results in wasted time and lost opportunities. Ultimately, a decision is not a decision until it's acted upon. Until that point, it remains a dream.
Are You Stuck?
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Reasons To Say "NO"
This month I said, "NO, I'm not going to write a feature article this month, I want to work on my book instead." As soon as I said that, I realized that there might be some learning (AND an article!) in that decision. Here are the top 10 reasons to say "NO," in service of your creativity and self-care.
Reasons To Say "NO"
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Initiating Change
Initiating change is difficult. It's not easy to do something different and chart a new course. Not only is it difficult because of the fear you might experience as well as the energy required to envision, plan, and take new actions; you will also hear the naysayers in your life telling you the fears they have for you and how they feel about what you should be doing with your life. Other people prefer the status quo as much as you. No, change requires a personal commitment to yourself and to creating something better.
Although initiating change on your own behalf is challenging, it is the easier and softer way. If you ignore the signs or postpone change you know you need to take, the universe will force you into change. When change is needed, the universe gives you a little tap on the shoulder. It's that sense you get that something needs attention. You avoid or deny it. You procrastinate; hoping things will spontaneously get better or be different. Then, the tap becomes a nudge, and then it smacks you so hard you can no longer avoid taking action. The "smack" might come in the form of an illness or death of someone close or perhaps a layoff. The universe will get its way.
Initiating Change
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Boosting Self-Confidence
When you put your focus on the daily improvement of your own skills and abilities you can and will grow very quickly. And your confidence will surge. Confidence without competence is a dangerous combination. Make it easy for yourself and only engage in self comparison when you are assessing your progress. By doing this you will make it easier to keep at it when the going gets tough and your competence will grow day by day.
Boosting Self-Confidence
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Decision-Making
Trait Vital to Good Leadership?
Many factors distinguish a mediocre leader from a good leader. One of the most important is the ability to make decisions. On the surface it may seem a simple proposition, yes or no; up or down, left or right, but it often the decision can mean layoffs, a dent in the bottom line or even the demise of an organization. And often there is little time for weighing every option.
Decision-Making
Trait Vital to Good Leadership?
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Leadership,
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Making Decisions

Trust In The Moment, And Trust In Yourself
You ARE capable. Give yourself the opportunity to excel by trusting in the moment and trusting in yourself. Wait calmly, and you will find that the necessary answers appear before you. Little by little ... with lots of practice ... and endless patience. Only move when the moment is right. Breathe deeply and begin at the beginning.
Trust In The Moment, And Trust In Yourself
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Reduce Anxiety About Decision Making
What's the alternative to making decisions? Allowing someone else, or circumstances, to make them for you. And that is giving up control of your life. That's giving up all power to your life to other people or circumstance. And that will make you miserable. It reminds me of walking through a wonderful food buffet where you could have anything you want -- 0 calories! -- and allowing someone else to decide what you took on your plate. Unacceptable! So when faced with decision anxiety, is the alternative -- giving up all control to others or circumstance -- the preferred method? Definitely not. No matter how difficult the decision, making it yourself gives you some modicum of control. On the flip side, of course, it also gives you the responsibility, and therefore you can't blame anyone else.
Reduce Anxiety About Decision Making

Are You Able To Say Both 'Yes!' And 'No!'?
When it is all said and done, when we delve deeply into our emotions, we almost always find that our strongest and most habitual response is covering up other feelings that we are not fully aware of. We feel hurt, disrespected, abandoned, or sad, and we cover over these feelings and lose touch with them, by expressing anger or resentment instead. When we find ways to tap into our deeper emotions we invariably find that we have been neglecting some form of pain or discomfort. When we neglect or simply don't notice our deeper emotional reactions, we lose the ability to express our full range of emotions. In the process we find that by consistently expressing only one segment of our entire emotional range, we limit our ability to be happy and feel at ease within ourselves and with those that we interact with.
Are You Able To Say Both 'Yes!' And 'No!'?

The "To Do" List vs. the "To Be" List
Try it in an area of your life where you're feeling frustration. Instead of obsessing on the myriad of details that you needed to get done yesterday, for example, spend a little time determining what kind of person you want to be. Now examine that 'myriad of details'. Are they moving you in the direction you want to go? When you see activities from this perspective, you will get more satisfaction from the mundane and your 'to do' list will gain clarity and meaning. Best of all, you'll be able to pare down your gargantuan 'do it today' list to a more manageable size: the items that most support your desired wish 'to be'.
The "To Do" List vs. the "To Be" List

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