Planets in Retrograde -- The Basics
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Unlimited Love: Altruism, Compassion, and Service
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	How Alone ARE You If You're Single for the Holidays? by Susan Dunn Momentum Coaching
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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How Alone ARE You If You're Single for the Holidays?
by Susan Dunn

It's family time! Just look at the TV. But what about those of us who are single?

Singles have more options at the holidays, which adds its own kind of stress. We are also bombarded with media images of what we are not -- a "couple" or a "family."

This will shift, no doubt, as the number of individuals in the US who live alone is growing every year. In fact, it's predicted that each of us alive today will spend more time living alone than with someone else.

We single folk are bombarded with invitations at the holidays; at least I am. I imagine the invitations comes from a mix of wanting my company, wanting to dilute their own family-mix-putting a steer in with the bulls, wanting a crowd, feeling sorry for me, and projecting their own fears of "being alone at the holidays," which is probably just fear of the unknown.

If you're single, I suggest an activity for self-discipline. There are lots of other singles with whom you could pair up, but I suggest going it along for the holidays at least once. Everyone should learn to get over being alone for the holidays as such a terrible thing. If you can't tolerate your own company, you will make some miserable partnering mistakes out of desperation.

Don't Do Anything Foolish!

Yes, yes, I know it's Christmas, but all the more reason to buckle down. As Shelly north said, "It was so cold that winter I almost got married." Notice she said "almost."

Take it like public speaking, another major dread of many people. Conquer that, and a Christmas alone, and the world is yours!

Advocate and Educate

At the same time, we need to advocate and educate about singles. Think for a moment how it feels when someone says, "If you don't have anywhere else to go for Christmas you can always come over here," or "You're welcome to join us. You don't have to decide now, just let me know. We can always work you in." These are not invitations. An invitation is, "Will you please join us for Christmas dinner?"

I'm also busy training waitpersons, are you? Instead of "just one?" or "dining alone tonight?" I prefer "one for dinner?" How about you?

Language

It begins with languaging. In the 60s we changed from putting on conference invitations "and your wife" to "and your spouse" to "and your partner" to nothing at all. The "working man" became a working individual.

In the 70s we learned to say Good Will to -- PEOPLE, and "when your boss talks, [s]he ."

In the 80s, we learned to include other groups as "families" besides the 2-parent type and invented the word "ex".

How could we make it a little more comfortable for the singles?

Voices Of Single Woman

TISA: "It's Christmas. Many people will invite me for Christmas 'if I don't have other plans,' who don't invite me over to their place any other time of the year. Ouch."

MARINELLA: "I have friends who'll call right up to the last minute. They'll say 'Just wanted to make sure you had somewhere to go.' They have no idea how that sounds. Why would they assume I 'had nowhere to go'?"

ISABEL: "I get invitations to come over and help with the hors d'oeuvres. Sure, if it's a best friend. If I'm the designated 'working-guest', no thanks."

The Facts

According to the American Association for Single People ( http://www.singlesrights.com/main.html ), the 2000 US Census Bureau (CB) reported that 82 million individuals in the US are unmarried.

This includes nearly:

• 20 million divorced,
• 13.6 million widowed
• More than 48 million who have never married.

More than 48% of all households in the US are headed by unmarried individuals

About 40% of the workforce is unmarried.

About 27 million Americans live alone, while about 2 million adults live with a partner to whom they are not married

The Census Bureau has projected that between the ages of 15 and 85, the average man and woman will experience more years being unmarried than they will being married.

The AASP projects that by 2010, 47.2% of the adults over the age of 18 will be unmarried.

So, if you're "alone" for the holidays, you're not VERY "alone." I prefer to call it "on your own." For Tips on Coping, go here: http://topten.org/public/BI/BI319.html.

Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, Susan Dunn. Bringing the power of Emotional Intelligence to YOUR life through coaching, eBooks, and distance learning. Midlife, retirement and transition coaching, career and relationships. Email for free EQ ezine. Want to be a certified EQ Coach? Email for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Products available for licensing to build your practice. Visit the best ebook library on the Internet - EBook Library.

Are you looking for more information on Education, Philosophy, Religion, Ethics, "The Laws You Live By," Higher Knowledge, and Intercultural Experiences?

Sagittarius is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Education, Philosophy, Religion, Ethics, "The Laws You Live By," Higher Knowledge, and Intercultural Experiences. Learn more about Sagittarius.
The information here tells all about Sagittarius Astrology.

Sagittarius Horoscope

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Last updated February 25th, 2004

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The Circle of Life -- The Zodiac Signs and the New Moon's Journey
By
Rebecca Brents

Astrology is for Believers.

With an open mind and a knowledge of Astrology you can watch your life unfold in ways that make sense.

You can understand the demands of change and "what's really going on" in a crisis.

Whether in a gentle push in the right direction or in a "hard knock upside the head," you can read the message behind what life is asking of you.

Real Astrology ...
for people who take
their lives seriously.

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The Compass: The Guide to the Quest Tarot
By
Joseph Ernest Martin