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Pisces Astrology Self Improvement for Pisces Healing The Abandonment Wounds Part 1 by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Inner Bonding |
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Healing The Abandonment Wounds Part 1 by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

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I have counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for the past 35 years and authored eight published books. Every individual I've worked with has had some abandonment wound to heal, and most relationship problems stem from abandonment wounds.
It is not possible to grow up in our society without some abandonment wounds. The following are some of the ways it can occur:
- Being torn away from mother at birth and put into a nursery.
- Being left to cry in a crib or playpen.
- Being given up for adoption or being left in foster care.
- Being physically and/or sexually abused.
- Being emotionally abused -- ignored, yelled at, shamed.
- Being pushed aside at the birth of a new sibling.
- Having a parent or caregiver who is emotionally unavailable.
- Being unseen or misunderstood by parents or other caregivers.
- Being lied to.
- Being unprotected by a parent or caregiver.
- Being left alone in a hospital during an illness.
- Losing a beloved parent or grandparent at a very young age.
- Divorce.
- Being teased or left out with siblings or peers.
- Being ridiculed by a teacher.
- Being forgotten -- not being picked up from school or other places.
- Being left at a young age to care for oneself, a parent, or other siblings.
When we are deeply wounded at a young age, we cannot handle the pain, so we find ways to dissociate from the intense feelings. Then, later in life, especially when we fall in love, these old wounds can get activated.
Our beloved gets angry, withdraws, gives attention to someone else, says mean things, doesn't tell the truth, doesn't stand up for us, comes home late, wanders away in a crowded public place, misunderstands us, and so on -- and suddenly the pain that has been pushed aside all these years comes roaring to the surface.
We think that we are reacting to the present situation, but what is really happening is that the old, unhealed abandonment wound has been touched off. We might find ourselves suddenly enraged or falling apart with intense tears.
Our reaction seems too big for the situation, yet we cannot seem to stop the inner pain. We might start to shake violently as the old terror finally erupts.
We want our beloved to take the pain away by stopping his or her behavior. If only he or she would not do the thing that activates these feelings, we would be fine. Yet until we actually heal these old, deep wounds, we will not be fine. We will always be vulnerable to having these wounds activated.
Healing the abandonment wounds does not happen overnight, yet it does not have to take years either.
Step one is to tune into your feelings with a willingness to take responsibility for your pain. Once you are aware that deep pain has been activated, seek the help of someone who can hold you and nurture you while you go into the abandonment pain.
If no one is available, hold a doll, bear or pillow, and bring in love to the hurting part of you. Open to your concept of God or Spirit and allow this source of love and strength to nurture you.
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Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?", "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By My Kids?", "Healing Your Aloneness","Inner Bonding", and "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?" Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: Inner Bonding or email: margaret@innerbonding.com

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Pisces is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Faith, Therapy, Healing, Self-Understanding, Psychological Issues, Self-Sabotage, Cosmic Consciousness, Artistic Inspiration, and Karma. Learn more about Pisces.
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We tend not to choose the unknown, which might be a shock or a disappointment or simply a little difficult to cope with. And yet it is the unknown with all its disappointments and surprises that is the most enriching. ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~ Born June 22, 1906
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Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it. |
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