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	Aries Astrology Self Improvement for Aries Comebacks When Someone Says Something Inappropriately by Verena Aibel Renaissance Coach
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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Comebacks When Someone Says Something Inappropriately
by Verena Aibel

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How you ever been in the position of not knowing what to say or do when someone tells you something that you don't like or that you feel is inappropriate or simply rude? The key to making these verbal comebacks work is the timing.

Pause first, take a deep breath, keep your voice low-keyed, sound and look a bit incredulous (if you can see the offending party). Use only one comeback at a time. If you need more than one, maybe you need to break off the communication with this person right away!

1. Oh, really?

Enough said. Move on.

2. How interesting.

Don't reveal what you really think if you don't want to go there. Say this in a monotone fashion. Interesting is not a put down nor is it a signal for the other party to elaborate.

3. Excuse me, would you mind repeating that?

This forces the other party to repeat in their head first, what they just said out loud to you. If it was inappropriate or rude, they typically won't or can't repeat it the same way twice. They have effectively eaten their words. Very cool. You just need to let it go and move on. Everyone saves face.

4. Excuse me, I didn't hear you (or, did I hear you correctly?).

See point #3. Remember, this only works if you truly seem incredulous.

5. I'm sure you didn't mean to say what you just said.

Would you like to rephrase that? This gives them a benefit of a doubt. You give them a second chance to say something of benefit.

6. It's OK if we agree to disagree.

Can you live with that? This makes it clear that you obviously have another opinion. Asking if they are OK with it is a way to see if they are attached to the outcome (that you agree with them) or not.

7. I'm not sure how what you just said relates to the topic we're discussing.

Can you make the connection clearer for me? Sometimes people get on a roll and keep on rolling. A way to cut them short is to ask them to make the connection or otherwise refocus. This gives them the benefit of a doubt.

8. I'm sure you believe what you're saying is true.

I chose to look at things from a slightly different point of view. Would you like to hear mine? It's OK to validate their point of view. You don't have to buy into it though, if it doesn't resonate with you. Don't give your point of view unless asked. Why get into it if the other party isn't really interested in truly listening to you anyway?

9. I feel uncomfortable when you use obscenities (or tell an off-color joke).

Please stop or I will have to leave (or ask you to leave). Make it clear what you will or will not tolerate. Have a clear consequence and follow through on it if need be. Be strong. It'll pay off in the end.

10. I like (love, admire, care for) you but I don't always like what you say (or do).

Focus on the behavior, not the person. Don't name-call. It will add fuel to the fire if there's already a negativity in the air. Be calm, be cool, and state your truth.

Go to: Self-Improvement for Aries, Self-Assertion

This piece was originally written by Verena Aibel, BA/Interpersonal and Organizational Communication (Penn State University), CTM, prolific writer of Top Ten Articles, Top Ten Coach & Consultant, Renaissance Coach, Global Biz Woman, Public Speaker, and Workshop & Teleclass Leader, who can be reached at Verena@optonline.net, or visited at Renaissance Coach.

Are you looking for more information on Initiative, Assertiveness, Goal Setting, and Anger Management?

Aries is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Initiative, Assertiveness, Goal Setting, and Anger Management. Learn more about Aries.
The information here tells all about Aries Astrology.

Aries Horoscope

Family life is too intimate to be preserved by the spirit of justice.
It can be sustained by a spirit of love which goes beyond justice.
~ Reinhold Niebuhr ~
Born June 21, 1895

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Last updated April 6th, 2008

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