Clients Aren't the Only Ones with Questions
When Clients Hand ME
a Learning Experience
by Ruby Tuesday

Life is full of questions. And people love to give and listen to advice. "How would you handle this?" can be both a plea for sympathy and a request for insight. Maybe in equal measures. Hearing someone advise us to follow a course that is already our instinct -- or our deepest desire in welcoming an opportunity -- or our judgment about what inevitably needs to happen in order to deal with a problem is reassuring. The advice -- and our impulse -- may be wrong, but at least we're not crazy, not totally off-the-wall in listening to our hopes and fears. Somebody else has considered our situation -- and reached the same conclusion.
The Tarot is like that. "Is this invitation to a new relationship / job / income possibility / situation as wonderful as it sounds?" may be the question in my heart when I pick up the deck and lay out some cards. Sometimes, the answer is an exuberant YES!! More often it has qualifications. "This could be good if ..." "You need to consider this factor ..." "This needs some deft handling. Don't just jump in with both feet." Sometimes the answer is a sobering NO. "Things are not as they seem." "This sounds too good to be true ... and it is." "Your hopeful imagination has run away with you. This is a nightmare in the making."
People actually come to a Tarot reading session hoping to hear the equivalent of, "You've met your soulmate!!" "You're going to win the lottery." "This is going to turn out grand, and you'll never have another care in your life." I've seen evidence in my time there are readers who actually play to these fantasies. It's a transaction that goes like: "Tell 'em what they want to hear. Everybody goes away happy. Take the money and run!!"
It's tough when a client arrives starry-eyed, caught in the web of her own daydreams, wanting me to play along and indeed ... tell her what she wants to hear. It's a very no-win situation. If I make rosy predictions that don't work out, and I know this from the get-go, who gets disappointed -- and who gets blamed? If I tell the truth about those pessimistic cards sitting on the table in front of me, who gets disappointed -- and who gets blamed? It's a problem I wrestle with more and more every time I sense a client is "going to be trouble" this way.
Do I refuse to accept the session the moment I get that "old familiar feeling?" Doesn't really solve the disappointment / blame problem. Saying something even as "neutral" as "This just doesn't feel right to me" isn't likely to end well. And the honesty of telling the client I'm declining, "I don't want to read for you" -- brings on exactly the stress and hostility I was hoping to avoid. And readings done under those conditions -- even if I relent and go ahead -- are certain to reflect the mess. Disappointment / blame. Unmet expectations on one side of the transactions / confirmed expectations on the other. I ask myself, how many times do I need to be right before I get the message?
I, of course, am asking myself deeper questions. Why am I attracting this? How can I handle this differently? Do I turn this into a learning experience about how to handle stress and hostility without getting snagged by its negative payoff? Am I really too sensitive? Is this why other readers play the game, take the money, and vanish into the night? Is it my job to "attempt the impossible," and in the space of one Tarot reading session try to achieve the results of months / years of counseling therapy and insist the person across from me grow up and take some personal responsibility for the life she's asking to examine? Do I really need this aggravation?
I'm fast reaching the point where I won't read for anyone I'm not already convinced ahead of time is able and ready to meet the experience "with the right attitude" of objective inquiry and mature perspective. I certainly feel better about readings that start out that way -- before, during, and after. Is that the chicken's way out? Maybe. But here's another pair of questions. How do you know whether life is telling you: "Learn to handle the heat." or "Learn to stay out of the kitchen." I'm always telling my clients, "Life is about choices. Choose wisely."
So maybe this is a situation -- where I get to choose.
(c) 2007 Ruby Tuesday and Enchanted Spirit, Inc., All rights reserved.

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