Planets in Retrograde -- The Basics
By
Rebecca Brents
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Awakening at Midlife
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Bend or Break
The Lessons of Hurricane Frances
Part 1
by Susan Dunn
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Surveying the havoc wreaked on a Florida island by Hurricane Frances, a landscapist assessed the damage and began to start restoring the foliage on this island paradise for her clients. She also used the opportunity to note what plants do well in a hurricane and what plants don't.
Her verdict? Among the wreakage of banyan, seagrape, oak and pine trees, cocoplum hedges and low-hanging orchids, it was the palms, with fronds that present the least resistance to the wind, that had fared the best.
The "flora" side has much to teach the "fauna" side about survival. We humans also fare the best when we present the least resistance to the forces that blow through our lives.
Studies have shown that resilient people are lifelong learners, which augments the plasticity of the brain. Learning new things, especially things that stretch you, makes it easier for you to cope and learn new things when presented with a crisis, trauma or loss.
Resilient people also are curious and have good senses of humor. They don't take things too seriously and are willing to bend when necessary. Rigidity locks us in, whether mental, emotional or physical, and then when we're "hit," we're more likely to be felled, like the oak trees with severed trunks on the Florida island.
Better to be like the palm frond, designed to bend to the ground if necessary in order to rise up again. The leaves are plaint with spaces to let the wind pass through. The dense and solid tree trunk doesn't fare so well.
When adversity strikes, be pliable. Don't fight it emotionally or mentally. If you insist on locking in to a position, for instance that this shouldn't have happened to you, or isn't fair, or is intolerable, you'll create resistance and can be easily felled.
If you're wronged and insist upon an apology before you can move on, you're sticking your stiff neck high up into a deadly wind. Defensiveness, contempt and silent indignation have the same effect. When you're in one of these negative stonewalled positions, you can feel the fierce bodily tension.
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Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn. Susan is the author of "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence."
I offer coaching around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, resilience (the skill for this decade), transitions, retirement, and personal and professional development. I train managers and coaches to teach EQ.
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There are historic situations in which refusal to defend
the inheritance of a civilization, however imperfect,
against tyranny and aggression may result in consequences
even worse than war.
~ Reinhold Niebuhr ~
Born June 21, 1895
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